Monday, August 18, 2014

Julian Assange and Paul Cregan at Goolmangar Primary School

(click to embiggen)
Paul was telling me how as a kid he went to school with Julian Assange.

Here is a scene of them in tractor tyres for an army tank, with a stick as a cannon...  I don't know who the two kids playing basketball are.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Hiccups are an attention seeking device - serious medical theory

Medical Theory  : Hiccups are linked to the need for social attention. (or, Hiccups are an attention seeking device.)

I can't be arsed writing a proper paper so I'm publishing the idea here.

But basically, I propose that as an infant, hiccups are the one thing that gets you adoring attention without you being blamed or accused of doing it on purpose. You hiccup, then everyone goes "ooowww.. isn't that cute". Free attention gained!

In my own research conducted by and on myself, I have found that hiccups are far more difficult to get rid of, until the point of time where someone notices the hiccups. Then I can get rid of them far more easily.

As a life-long hiccupper (or perhaps hiccuppee) I have tried every method to get rid of bouts of hiccups, and although they have worked for a while, eventually that method was no longer effective. I guess the novelty had worn off for spectators. "Oh he's doing that thing again". Attention wane!

The "cures" that are more elaborate and comical or complex and enjoyable for outsiders to witness, are usually the more successful. It has been said (by people, needs citation) that it's because the brain is working hard on the complex task that distracts the body from hiccuping, but I also reckon the added attention from drinking a cup of water upside down, whilst standing on one leg may also help satisfy the human in question and diminish the need to hiccup. Attention gained!

I call upon the medical community to do some research and prove my theory... but in the meantime, remember where you heard it first.

p.s. I googled it once, and there didn't seem to be anyone else claiming this idea...

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

the only thing worse than being talked about... being panned in the media for "having standards"

Ricky French has written about MONA in the Big Issue this week, and has used me.... (ME?!) as a barometer as to how bad he thinks MONA is.

Well, we'll see about that!
(loosely hints at an exhibition yet to be organised, now that I have about 20 new paintings... mumbling off into the distance...)

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Self Portrait - Icon Style

As the artist's ego gets out of control, he has elevated himself to saint-like status. What a wanker!

Sunday, June 30, 2013

4ZZZ Happy Fest Benefit Auction Painting

Time to get happy! Mainstream radio cops a beating while the Z banana man broadcasts the good times. B-dudes breakin, Ned Kelly gets carried away with joyful balloons, Black Caviar finds a post-retirement job, and even the Angry Penguin enjoys a balloon.

This painting will be in Brisbane this weekend and will be sold at auction as a part of the 4ZZZ radio fundraiser Happy Fest. 

Come down, show your love for community radio, and be the first person in Brisbane to own an original Ben Butcher painting! 

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Black Caviar Rides Again - Art Prize Entry

I have entered this new painting, Black Caviar Rides Again in to the prestigious Inglis Equine Art Prize.
For those who have been living under a rock, Black Caviar has recently retired after being undefeated, 25 sprint races...champion! Now days, Black Caviar is available for parties, medieval fairs, and having sex with other awesome horses.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Artist Statement

Sometimes the typed word is not enough to broadcast the more vital messages that need to expressed.

And it is at this time when our society so badly needs to think about and discuss this critical issue.

Please watch and consider carefully, Thank you


 hurry up with my damn croissants!